Nicole A. Brooklyn, NY Phase I: Individual Healing - Understanding Personal Feelings and Sorting through Emotions Phase I is all about you (both the injured and the cheater). After the affair, your first instinct might be to look for reasons why the affair happened. You want to know the details of the affairs. You want to know why your loved one did what they did. You want to know if you will ever be able to trust your partner again. This is what I call "externalizing." Externalizing means you are looking outside of yourself for answers to emotional issues that are happening within you. You might do this because you believe that finding the "reason" will help you heal.

It means that chances are, if you have had a good strong "feeling" or suspicion that your partner is cheating on you at any point in time THEY COULD VERY WELL BE CHEATING. You have to learn to follow your gut instinct, but it's extremely important you don't go making accusations without evidence or proof to back it up or you risk not knowing the truth forever as they may cover their tracks even better than before. If this sounds like anything you or someone you know and care about, is going through, this may very well be the most important message that youll read all year.

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Withdrawal Pain - The pain you feel initially when your partner first leave you on their journey. If the stress is not properly managed, it could lead to serious mental stress. Sadness - Sadness could happen in LDR when you lose control of the environment. It could affect your ability to perform all the usual tasks if not managed properly. Fear of Losing the Relationship - Fear of this kind will indirectly kill your LDR if you do not take proper action to eradicate it. Excessive Worry - Excessive worry happens when you fear of something that has not happen in your LDR. You will waste a lot of time worrying in LDR if you let it out of control.

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